Sex, the MCAT, Speeding Citations, and All Other Things Way Too Difficult
When college students have the power of instant gratification under their fingertips, why bother starting a relationship? When you are bogged down by an overload of pre-med classes, president of four clubs, tutor underserved populations of children each week, are trying to start your own company, and maintain a life in the social scene, hooking up has become the most efficient way and the easiest way to get some without really any consequences. Sex is tremendously easy to get present-day – sometimes it’s just a right or left swipe. It is instantaneously fulfilling, gives you power, and gives you the freedom to choose any person you want.
Now with all things that seem absolutely perfect, follow some problems. Let’s say you go to the club in search of a rebound after your relationship of one year has just ended. You dance with this cute girl, she gives you her number, and she asks you to text her back. After you text her, she never ends up gets back to you. Now this leads to some self-thought, especially when the two of you had such an amazing night together. The first question that must be asked is, “What’s wrong with me?” But that’s not the correct question that should be asked. Maybe in this instance, it was too soon to go in search of a rebound, but hey, feelings don’t just disappear with the truth.
Imagine yourself living the life, hooking up with a countless number of guys since you’ve has gotten to college, but have since then decided that you are looking for a stable relationship. You find an extremely handsome young man who’s smart, funny, caring, older by four years, in medical school, and checks off every box of your list of your “dream guy.” After a few dates with him, you think everything is going so smoothly, as the most intimate you’ve gotten were the goodnight kisses after dates and the deep, emotional talks about how you would raise your children as tiger mothers to be the smartest kids of the cul-de-sac so that they end up going to Harvard. When he invites you over and things start getting really sexual, mid-kiss he blurts out, “When I first saw you, I thought you would be perfect to be friends with benefits.” Devastated, and not expecting it at all, you go home in dismay and think to yourself, “What’s wrong with me? This happens with every guy I get attached to.” Of course, the reality is that when two people are in different parts of their lives it’s often hard to maintain a stable relationship. It’s even more difficult to realize that you weren’t the one in the wrong, especially because you weren’t expecting it.
The reality is that these undefined relationships cause more harm than ones that are defined. When a defined couple breaks up, there’s a regular protocol to follow. This could include venting to friends, eating ice cream to fill the void, working out the anger and stress, or maybe it’s writing about the pain. The people you care about are there to help you through the mess. And you definitely know that it is over. When you stop seeing a significant other who you were just emotionally attached to without any title or brand involved, it could possibly be the same case. The same measures to get over the person work, however, you were never anything to begin with. If you weren’t anything to begin with, did it really end? Should we just forget about it? Did it even affect the other person if the situation was just that the two individuals were looking for two different things? That’s the biggest stress on the problem, which leads to self-doubt, misery, and tossing the problem aside, especially when it did take a toll on your heart. When you have the time to reflect and think when you’re by yourself and away from all the classes and activities you regularly participate in, it’s just going to hurt you more because the only person you will want to blame is yourself.
It might be that you’re in love with the idea of love, and in our society, with our age in college, and the lifestyle, that’s something really difficult to face. We see our best friends with their perfect girlfriends, and we watch all these movies where true love is always the outcome. We see friends who are living “the life,” hooking up with boys every night and getting the perfect grades because they don’t have to spend time and hard work on a boyfriend or girlfriend. Hook-up culture almost forms an endless cycle of despair if you’re a person who gets attached easily. Every person that comes along as a rebound to the next –it’s possible to even get attached to them. It’s a complex process, and I still haven’t found out the answer of what to do.
But in the end, the hopeless romantics like us, will just have to wait. It’s definitely harder to date in our present day, but we will find “the one” in the end, and we’ll be able to spend all our time and effort with that one person. When you’re in love with the idea of love, like me, you have to understand that love will come to you, don’t go around looking for it. If you do, you’ll just fall in love with anything that seems remotely decent. So take some time for yourself if you’re trying to get over someone right now. Don’t blame yourself or be too hard on yourself. In the end, it will work out.